lovehalfballs

[	userinfo	\|	livejournal userinfo	]
[	archive	\|	journal archive	]

(no subject)

[Dec. 6th, 2009|09:30 pm]

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin.
Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her
husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her
and tries to be reassuring.

‘My darring,’ he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten…
I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want.
You juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly,
which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.
She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try someting I have hear about from odda girls….. Numbaa 69.’
More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her… ‘You want…Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?’

taken from www.karencheng.com.au/

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[21:02] Shawn: hey....can help me watch my laptop while i go pee...
[21:03] rachelyn: watch yr laptop?
[21:03] rachelyn: sure ( i think )
[21:04] Shawn: ok..back
[21:04] Shawn: thanks
[21:05] rachelyn: HAHAHAH shawn you tickle me sometimes.
[21:05] Shawn:

hooray for laughter on a gloomy sunday night. (gloomy for me at least)

link

5 comments|post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 30th, 2009\|12:20 am]
ladies and gentlemen,I give you my mother who just turned 51 half an hour ago. I can only hope I age as well as her. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!
link	post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 22nd, 2009\|10:25 pm]
my mind is wrapped in a blanket of pain. jars should be invented for women to put their bleeding uteruses (i dont even care if there is no such fucking word) into for a week and then reinserted into their bodies when the bleeding ceases. no hassle, no pain. i cant deal with my abdomen, back, feet, head pain when i have urgent work beckoning me and all i am capable of writing right now is FUCKKKKKK.
link	post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 16th, 2009\|09:18 pm]
so the one day i wake up with a swollen left eyelid and take leave to stay in bed, the following happen consecutively - the pipe in the bathroom bursts - the stove runs out of gas - my laptop crashes on me - construction loud enough to wake the fucking dead starts under my block fml much? escaped to my sister's house which proved fruitful considering i came back with new reads, a new project which sadly is her brainchild but will be all of my work, of course and a fixed laptop. ok i have weight to lose. damm these 2 kilos. DAMM YOU.
link	post comment

(no subject)

[Nov. 11th, 2009|12:14 pm]

For vanity knows no boundaries.

Man provides photo for his own wanted poster

Mon Nov 9, 2009 10:23am EST

LONDON (Reuters) - A British man on the run from police sent a picture of himself to his local paper because he disliked the mugshot they had printed of him as part of a public appeal to track him down.

South Wales Police had issued media with the photo of Matthew Maynard, wanted by officers investigating a house burglary, as part of a crackdown on crime in Swansea.

When it appeared in the South Wales Evening Post, the 23-year-old sent the newspaper a replacement photo of himself standing in front of a police van. They obligingly printed it on the front page.

The police thanked him for helping them in their appeal, saying: "Everyone in Swansea will know what he looks like now.

link

3 comments|post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 8th, 2009\|11:51 pm]
i realise i always dont credit pictures when i put them up. i am ashamed of myself! how can i forget to, TSK. ok so all the pictures up here so far that obviously have not been taken by me are from people.com. and this one below,i have no idea where its from :/ but how cute is this! <3333 anyhoo, HAVE YOU HEARD?! THE SINGAPORE ZOO IS BRINGING IN PANDAS, HELL YEA! i'm most definitely going to be making more trips to the zoo if the deal really pulls through. off to root for man utd now.
link	5 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 7th, 2009\|10:34 pm]
I'm tearing into my smelly pillow, (much like how I was tearing Thursday night when the third tequila shot went down) because tonight, I had a very disappointing conversation. it was disappointing simply because i would have had more reaction talking to a wall. that said, hey, christmas is coming! i am very big, VERYYYYY BIG on christmas so i am going out of my way to make sure i have fucking awesome plans. why? because i am awesome and judging at how the last quarter of 2009 has been played out for me, i deserve it? is that a good enough answer to be spending quite a bit of money on pretty dresses, hairbands (i'm obssessed!!!!) and alcohol? you know what is the other thought in my head? that perhaps i'm nt cut out for pr and comms afterall. perhaps i should just write for a publication. be the cool cat journalist on the block. something to sit on till aug 2010 huh? bah.
link	post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 6th, 2009\|10:25 pm]
ugh i beat myself up so bad everytime i make a mistake, i think i need therapy. sigh.
link	2 comments\|post comment

(no subject)

[Nov. 3rd, 2009|01:20 pm]

hahahahahaha, my colleagues are brilliant.
and yes, we are still arguing on who gets which
character from Ni Hao Kai Lan.
I'll show you Tolee in a bit!

Good day ahead :)

And I’m Lulu coz she’s PINK!

Pearlyn Xu Yanru

Marketing and Communications Executive - MTV/Nickelodeon

DID: +65 6420 7114 I Mobile: +65 9688 4205 I Fax: +65 6221 6016

Address: The Atrium @ Orchard, 60A Orchard Road, #04-01 Tower 1, Singapore 238890

www.mtvasia.com I www.nicksplat.com

From: Lee, Shane
Sent: Tuesday, November 03, 2009 12:44 PM
To: Gordon, Rachelyn
Cc: Xu, Pearlyn
Subject: RE: NICK: Brown Johnson Story is targeting to be out in The Star Newspaper this Weds

Many thanks dear. You are YEYE! I AM the REAL Tolee!!!

hahahahahhahahahahahahh

From: Gordon, Rachelyn
Sent: Tuesday, November 03, 2009 11:51 AM
To: Lee, Shane
Cc: Xu, Pearlyn
Subject: RE: NICK: Brown Johnson Story is targeting to be out in The Star Newspaper this Weds

Hello!

I called iSentinel and got them to look out for it.

Cheers,

Tolee!

Rachelyn Gordon | Communications | MTV Networks Asia

60A Orchard Road, The Atrium @ Orchard, #04-01 Tower 1 , Singapore 238890

Tel 65.6420.7143 | Fax 65.6221.9795

rachelyn.gordon@mtvnmix.com |www.mtvasia.com

From: Lee, Shane
Sent: Monday, November 02, 2009 6:01 PM
To: Gordon, Rachelyn
Cc: Xu, Pearlyn
Subject: NICK: Brown Johnson Story is targeting to be out in The Star Newspaper this Weds

Hey Sweets,

Please kindly inform the clipping agency to look out for the Brown Johnson story in The Star Newspaper.

Thank you & kind regards,

Shane Lee

Marketing and Communications Manager

MTV Networks (SEA)

60A Orchard Road, The Atrium @ Orchard Road

Tower 1, #04-01, Singapore 238890

Did: (+65) 64207145 | Mobile: (+65) 93871376 | Fax: (+65) 62216016 | Email: shane.lee@mtv-asia.com

www.mtvasia.com | www.nicksplat.com | www.spongebob.com | www.icarly.com

link

3 comments|post comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 1st, 2009\|03:28 pm]
this was how i spent my halloween this year. making damm awesome seafood aglio olio at my place with amy. and since my tentative holland village plans got cancelled, we picked up a bottle of wine and rented FRIENDS to complete dinner. we whipped up an egg salad as well, but it doesnt look as visually pleasing as the aglio olio. so how was your halloween?
link	6 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 30th, 2009\|08:24 am]
forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel room, you can bring your girlfriend and bmeet at your hotel rooom. pitbull at 8am while i dress up is very addictive. 2 plus 2 i'm gon undress you 3 and 3 you gon undress me.
link	4 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 29th, 2009\|09:42 am]
normal girls get home at 3-ish, shower and jump into bed. i get home at 3-ish, shower and sit down to delete all contact information of every single boy I have ever dated/met. handphone numbers, msn, facebook, letters, gifts, everything i threw away or deleted. i suppose i always knew i was special aye? remember standing under the shower this morning and thinking to myself "what the fuck did i do last night man". pity there isnt an undo button or "retrieve lost information" function on technology huh? just as well though.
link

(no subject)	[Oct. 24th, 2009\|08:31 pm]
giant smile on my face :)
link	4 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 18th, 2009\|10:38 pm]
see the koko crunch on my table? colleague gave me a bowl and it made me mad happy. like he had me giggling like a little girl for ten minutes till he looked back and said "eh dont choke uh, you still have a lot of things to do" see the little chinese girl on my desktop? that's one of our latest properties, NI HAO KAI LAN which essentially is a mandarin speaking version of DORA. the team have all named each other after the characters in the show and i am the koala bear :D :D :D see the pair of boobs sitting on my desk? they provide crude, tasteless but often necessary entertainment. the nipples are knobs you use to tune btw, haha. see the awesome pair of SPONGEBOB sunnies on me? i scored them at work last week. yes, they are mother humongous for me and yes, i do wear them :D as for everything else, i'm still here. sometimes i skip though my day, sometimes i crawl though them. whatever the case, i am still holding on to my hope of ending the year, living, laughing, dancing? (HAHAHA ok, corny i know, but i cant help myself, my fingers have a life of their own i swear! :) )
link	2 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 11th, 2009\|07:31 pm]
omar has a wonderful habit of taking ten minutes off after lunch everyday to share great music with the team and introduced Airto to us sometime last week.my only gripe is the fact his covers are maximum all of 2 mins long, it'd be so much awesome if he did the entire song. my favourites include: -king of leon's use somebody -james morisson and nelly furtado's broken strings -john mayor's i'm going to find another you -sam sparro's black and gold cant wait for my pay so I can indulge myself. its true what amy says, I have mad ass random and incredibly strong food cravings that are comparable to those of a pregnant woman's. I'd like some sushi, some italian, some spanish,some macdees and some cake RIGHT NOW. mmmmm.
link	4 comments\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 10th, 2009\|04:36 pm]
today I woke up at 9am in extreme pain. I woke up feeling like my heart was being torn into two. dont laugh, really, I felt so low and the weight of the world of my shoulders. the pain was so profound and real, I staggered to my desk to sip some water, it then hit me and I recognized that I was missing something very badly. I didnt know what though so I mustered up enough strength to shower and go for kickboxing and I tried my best to kick and punch the emptiness that was gnawing away at me. I still dont know what I am missing. Yes, things haven been as smooth as my skin lately and it never is your fault but the poop ends up underneath your shoes anyway so you deal with it, right? I suppose I thought I had done a good enough job of scraping the poop off, perhaps there are still remnants of it caught in bewteen the cracks of my sole.
link

(no subject)	[Oct. 5th, 2009\|11:28 pm]
so shit faced tired. beginning to feel stifled, dont stifle me.
link	post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 3rd, 2009\|10:59 pm]
HELL FUCKING YEA!! TALKED ABOUT IT FOR 3 YEARS AND TODAY I FINALLY DID IT. JERRY WAS AWESOME, THE WEATHER WAS AWESOME, MY BEST F. IS AWESOME AND MY FIRST TATTOO IS BEYONDDDDDDDD AWESOME. i wont lie, when he started colouring this was how i looked like for a good ten minutes before i finally eased up and enjoyed the moment. believe me when i say i am fucking dying to share with you the actual picture but i want to do it justice so tmr, after i get a full back shot done by tina, i will share! <3 rach! ps: i dislike my mum's trait of being a wet blanket. i did talk to her about this and get her approval. i get home, she freaks out and closes her room door on me. i dont understand how i can be so similar to her yet so different. but tonight it does not matter, i am going to revel in my moment, take a shower and cover it up again. feeling mighty awesome tonight, jellybeans <3
link	1 comment\|post comment

(no subject)	[Oct. 2nd, 2009\|01:39 am]
tired to the bone from the crazy work week but i cant seem to sleep. hot yoga yesterday was such a disappoinment, i cld actually pull off all the poses and during the foetal/chakra/something pose, i fell asleep. feel like such a giant bean now cos i had an entire can of Heinz baked beans for dinner.
link

(no subject)	[Sep. 28th, 2009\|09:59 pm]
very inspired to write again. to write again commercially and not corporately. anyone can do corporate pieces if you get your grammar, puntuation and spelling nailed down perfectly. commercial writing on the other hand is so much more personal and i've always loved the way it made me feel special. i dont have someone to write for though and its tough finding a publication to write for. so maybe i should just write for myself?
link	1 comment\|post comment

navigation

[	viewing	\|	most recent entries	]
[	go	\|	earlier	]

Customize

Advertisement

For vanity knows no boundaries.

Man provides photo for his own wanted poster

Advertisement

Advertisement

For vanity knows no boundaries.Man provides photo for his own wanted poster

Advertisement

For vanity knows no boundaries.

Man provides photo for his own wanted poster